Welcome!
Coming May 2012!
Inspiring Eve: Interview with Ronna Detrick!
Ronna Detrick book ‘s Inspiring Eve debuted last Friday and I am excited to have her on my site today! Ronna is a spiritual director and truth teller extraordinaire. I deeply respect and love the work that she is doing and the conversations she is engaging the world in about spirituality, faith, and femininity.
Enjoy!
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Eve by Callahan McDonough
Kandice: What inspired “Inspired by Eve”?
Ronna:Isn’t everything inspired by Eve? From my perspective, the answer is a definitive YES! And, of course, it is this perspective and understanding that has inspired the digital guide itself.
Over and over again when I am in conversation with other women, no matter the topic, I I say to myself (and sometimes out loud), “It all goes back to the story of Eve.” More importantly, it all goes back to the way we interpret the story of Eve. If we see her story as one of poor choices and massive shame that is the predominant story we live, as well. But if we see her story as one of self-trust, deep knowing, and a pursuit of desire that changes everything for us…and then some. Eve’s story matters!
And at a completely personal level, Eve’s story matters to me. She has changed me. I have walked with her, listened to her, learned from her, and been comforted by her in my hardest places and most difficult choices. She is like a dear friend to me who I will defend to the death. And I long for others to know her as I do. Even more, she has introduced me to her God – a far different God than I have ever known before. It is nothing but sheer privilege to offer her story and her God (via my telling) to others!
Kandice: Why do you think these conversations on faith are necessary for women to have?
Ronna: I don’t know that we can live lives that are whole, full of truth, and alive if we are not having these conversations. Our faith (and our doubt) impacts us – in really profound ways – whether we’re aware of such or not. And because I want women to live lives that are engaged and passionate, I want them to talk about the things that matter most…but often stay hidden. Sadly, these conversations often get side-barred because they are often uncomfortable or taboo. I get that. But all the more reason we should bring them out into the open and reclaim language, story, and even God in ways that make a difference!
Kandice: Do you ever encounter any doubts when it comes to starting these controversial conversations? What keeps you centered if doubt and fear arises?
Ronna: I used to, to be sure. In fact, I’ve spent about three years developing my online business not talking about this – at least directly. I’ve been afraid that people would dismiss me or think me to be super-religious or super-conservative – neither of which are true; that somehow they would find me irrelevant. And so I’ve talked about telling the truth – all the while avoiding my own (ironic, huh?). But once I took the leap and stepped into this conversation in bold and articulate ways, following my truth and my heart, I discovered that this is actually the conversation people have been waiting for me to have!
It’s an ongoing learning curve for me, but here is what I know: I can trust my heart and my own deep knowing. And more, I will, in fact, survive if everyone doesn’t love me.
When doubts and fears arise? I follow the lead of Eve. I reach for what I know to be good, delicious, and “right,” even when it feels like the most risky choice ever. She’s invited me there. I follow her lead. And once I step forward? Mmmmm. It’s delicious.
Kandice: Is Inspired by Eve and other conversations like this open to those who don’t identify with a particular faith?
Ronna: Absolutely! The reality is that every story, every person is impacted by Eve’s story – and its telling throughout time. Politics, power, issues of gender, and certainly religion have been shaped by the way we’ve interpreted her choices – and the shame we’ve then applied. For this reason alone, her story is worth discovering, considering, and thinking through anew. But even more, I believe that her story (and so many others) far supersedes religion and faith. These are powerful stories that shape the way we understand ourselves as women. They deserve to be told, heard, and adored. There is a world of benefit and beauty to be found.
Kandice: How can honest, real storytelling change the lives of women in the world today?
Ronna: Wow. Such a good question! We are living stories all the time. And too many times, without knowing such, we are living stories that aren’t true…or at least as true as they deserve and desire to be. We compromise. We edit. We censor. And we often live the story we think others want us to live. When we hear the stories of other women, even Eve’s, in powerfully true ways – ways that touch us at a heart-and-soul level – we are inspired to tell our own in more powerful ways, as well. And that will change the world! I’m convinced of it and frankly, it’s why I do what I do!
Kandice: Describe “Inspired by Eve” in 3 words or one sentence.
Ronna: Eve’s story will change yours.
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Ronna Detrick provides Spiritual Direction to both individuals and businesses. Picture a hybrid of the iconic Oprah Winfrey and the slightly-irreverent Anne LaMott and you’d have a glimpse of both her conversational passion (without the national media platform) and writing bent (without the dreadlocks). She gets at deep truths and talks about a God and faith you’re hungry for. Learn more.
Posted in Inspiration + Motivation, Lovely People
Tagged faith, Inspiring Eve, Kandice Cole, Ronna Detrick
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Iced Chai? or Why Ideas Take a While to Catch Fire.
A few weeks I decided to stop at a nearby coffee shop before getting on the train. Let’s call the place Yummy’s Coffee.
What can I get, the serve asks me cheerily, “What can I get you ma’am?”
“Could I get a chai latte, please?”
“The vanilla chai latte?” she replied back.
“Yes that one. I would like it iced,” I said
She gives me a blank stare.”You want a what?”
She looked both ways warily as if death had just passed her cash register. She looked over at one of her co-workers making the drink, and asked hesistantly, ” Can we ice the vanilla chai latte?”
He looked up from the coffee machine with a very serious look towards me. “No, we can’t do that.
I am perplexed. I had visited other chains of Yummy’s and had the same drink iced without any problems. I started to wonder if it wasn’t something I was not seeing.
“Is there are problem? Is there no ice?” I asked trying to figure this confusion out.
The manager comes up and asks what it going on, since I am holding up the morning rush-hour line.
“She wants her chai latte iced,” the cashier starts to explain.
“We can’t ice the drink ma’am, ” the manager said hesistantly
“Why? Could you just give me a cup of ice then?” I asked calmly.
The manager looked at me strangely and replied, ” We can’t guarantee the taste if we do that.”
“I am not asking you to guarantee the taste. I have had it iced at other locations before without a problem,” I replied back.
A lady stands behind me and shakes her head and gives me an encouraging smile.
“Then we will have to charge you 35 cents extra to make it iced, ” the manager said.
“That is not a problem at all, ” I said as I pulled the money out of my wallet.
The iced chai was uh-mazingly delicious.
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One week later, I go back Yummy’s and ask for an iced chai latte. The cashier looked confused, but the manager from last week spotted me and rushed the the cashier.
“That fine. Add the extra for iced, ” she told the cashier matter of factly. She went over to the barista and instructed her on how to make the drink iced.
I said thank you and walked out with another wonderful iced chai.
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I tell this story not to show you how much I loved iced chai lattes and what I will go through to get them. This is all about ideas and how they catch fire. This particular Yummy’s had never made a iced vanilla chai and it took a while for the idea to stick. It was nothing wrong with what I wanted, they just had not ever seen it before. The next week I went, there was still some hesitation but not nearly as much as the first week.
When you have a concept, idea, etc , it may take people a while to catch on. Not because your idea is bad or horrible, simply because it takes people a while to see something from a new perspective.Be patient and know that your new creation, work, idea, goal, endeavor is wonderful.
When you are showing people how to look at something new there is resistance, but that does not mean to abandon what you are doing right away. The world needs you to keep creating. Please believe that.
“Good ideas are not adopted automatically. They must be driven into practice with courageous patience.“-Hyman Rickover
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Can You Really Relax?
Hello!
On Monday, I asked the question, What prevents you from relaxing?, via email, my site, and social media (if you still want to share, click here). I got a lot of honest answers. Relaxing can be confusing, frustrating, and downright challenging to do in a chaotic and hectic world.
Relaxing is an inner state that can happen regardless of the external circumstances that are occuring. This state of relaxation explains why some people seem to maintain a sense of calm even when things seem to be going wrong. Here’s the thing: relaxation is mandatory, not optional. Relaxing is more than physically resting. It is more than planning a vacation. It is ore than me time that you take when you can find the time. It is a state of being that you can have all of the time in your everday life.
“Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.” ~John De Paola
I have gone from a multi-tasking, stressed out person to a much more relaxed and calm human being. Being in a consistent relaxed state allows me the freedom to create the life that I want while feeling rested and at ease. My work load has not changed. My relationship status has not changed. And up until very recently, my other duties/obligations did not change either. It has been step by step by step learning that relaxing is a lifestyle that helps me attract wonderful things in my life.
When you learn to truly relax, you find that you can be more clear about your life. You find peace and harmony. Most importantly, you find space and freedom to do what you want when you want it.
I am working on creating an offering that will help you learn how to truly relax in your everday life and enjoy the freedom comes along with that.
If you would like to submit a question or topic that you would like to see covered, then click here
Looking forward to hearing from you!
Kandice
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Monday Musings
Happy Monday!
Here are few things that I wanted to share with you. Read on!
Guest Posting Today!
Today I am over at Donnie Nicole’s site! Donnie is a friend of mine who is a scrapbooking superheroine and lover of life and a “analog girl in a digital world.”Her site is chock full of insight, inspiration, and resources for living life now! Let me know what you think if the post by commenting at her site!
A Relaxation Experiment (I want to hear from you!)
I am working on creating a product about the art of relaxing in everyday life based off of conversations I have been having and reflections from my own life. As I create, I would like to get your feedback on the following question:
What prevents you from relaxing?
Please click HERE and share your answer with me!
Comments
I want to let you know that I have decided to disable comments on my site. I still want to hear from you! Follow me on Twitter or on Google+ to keep the conversation going!
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Subscribing to my work
I am committed to bringing quality content to you. I write about vulnerability, storytelling, saying no so you can say YES!, and living a life that you really want to live.
A portion of my writing does not make it publicly to my site or other networks. If you want to keep exploring and engaging with my work, I’d like to ask if you would be willing to subscribe, by signing up below.
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Why It’s Hard to Say No (and ways to make it easier)
Ever feel bad for saying no? Yes, I have been right there with you. Even when you know-that you know you would be saying no to say a necessary yes to something you else? Yes, me too, no shame here whatsoever.
You feel like you are letting people down. You feel like you can’t keep it all together. You feel bad because you can’t balance it all (well that is actually a good thing). You feel like you will lose friends or family if you say one simple no every once and a while (or more often).
I find myself there a lot. I actually found myself in that place a few days ago. I was on a reunion committee for my family and 4 months before the reunion I dropped out. Realized I couldn’t devote the proper time and take care of myself, my family, and other responsibilities. I should have done it months ago but I was scared. Scared that it would tarnish my dependable reputation. Or worse that my family would stop talking to me. Yea fear was doing its thing. I sent this really sweet email to the family and guess what? They felt my heart and wished me well as I re-focused my energy to take better care of myself. So much better than the dooms-day scenario I had crafted.
If you don’t say no and be still, the universe will help you do it (ie flat tire, getting sick at a bad time, etc.) I have a cold right now, not only because some germs got to me. (well that is part of it). Weeks before, I felt my body wanting rest. What did I do? I pushed myself more, filled up the calendar, and hoped for the best. Crash and burn I went. Had to cancel about 4 or 5 meetings in the past week to recover. Reset button was pushed.
Here is what I am learning about this saying no thing: It is better to say no before you commit to something. I like to be a person of my word and value that. People will get over it, and it may be sooner than you think. The world probably won’t end. We can’t do everything (and even if we could, would we really wanna?). It is ok not to have every single minute of your day accounted for. It is okay to leave yourself some space in your calendar to do nothing.
If you say yes when you mean no, think about how you will show up at that event or meeting. Will you be frazzled and disconnected? Will you be focused on a million and one things except the task at hand? Will you be annoyed and frustrated? Honestly, that is not the kind of energy you want to bring into anything even if it is making cupcakes for the next book club meeting.
I want you to think of one thing that you can say no to today (preferrably something you haven’t already said yes to). This small task could free up 5 minutes or 5 hours of your time. Start small. I am not saying you clear out your entire calendar and just tell everyone to eff off. Just take small steps to give yourself breathing space. Make sure to pat yourself on the back for saying no to say yes to YOU.
I will leave you with a few more things to help you say no so you can say YES.
- After you say no, don’t you dare feel sorry about it.
- Read this Zen Habits Post to get some inspiring sentence starters
- Write your no out on pretty stationary
- Offer a recommendation or referral in your place
- Help the asker out next go round if you can.
- Breathe deeply and pause before you commit to something.
P.S. When you do say yes, be joyful and show up fully because it is a choice you made.
xo
Kandice
Posted in Inspiration + Motivation
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Burning Questions: Money Resentments
I make my way over to Danielle LaPorte’s site and she has a burning question posted for today about finding your money thorn.I instantly want to close that page and not respond at all. Like not even in my head, let alone on my blog. This money stuff always feels weird to talk about, especially publicly. Time to push past that and get to it because this apathetic resistance that is just sitting here in my space is daring me to make a move.
While growing up, both of my parents worked in corporate America. Meaning long, tiring hours away from home leaving them exhausted day in and day out hustling for the almighty dollar. We had nice stuff, but it came with a major price to our family. I remember being a teenager and realizing that my parents had passion and interests in things totally unrelated to their current jobs. I saw them tolerate rather than love their jobs and always wondered why they didn’t use all of their magnificent talents that came so natural and joyfully to them. Made me quite irate, in a very subtle way all of these years.
And you know what ,I associated tolerable work that I inwardly loathed as the only way to make money, to be successful. I worked hour after hour “hustling” to make money but not being happy. I also made it a point to do a million things so that I couldn’t focus on doing one thing well ’cause sheer exhaustion means you are really doing it right? The moment I tried to pursue my passion, I would sabotage myself (ie. undercharging, procrastinating, being scared) and make little to no money.
Guess what I know right now? Making money can come with a hell of a lot more ease than that. More importantly, I know that I can make money doing something I love because I was actually put on earth to manifest God.When I manifest that glorious presence I am always taken care of. Always.
Making money and attracting abundance by just being my shiny, sparkling, purpose-filled self. Amen to that.
Money thorn you have officially been plucked. Kandice 1, Resistance 0.
xo
Kandice
Posted in Inspiration + Motivation
Tagged burning question, danielle laporte, Kandice Cole, Kandice Washington Cole, money
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Disrupting Adventure
Last year, I heard about World Domination Summit and felt so affirmed as a creative dreamer. Even though I did not attend, just knowing that events like this existed made me feel about one hundred feet tall.
It has been on my vision board ever since, so I am taking this next piece as a sign. A few hours ago, I am on Twitter and catch wind of tweet that Rogue Priest is offering a WDS 2012 ticket giveaway. If that was not exciting enough the contest entrants need to answer the question, Why Adventure?
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Disrupt or be disrupted.
Why Adventure? Because adventure disrupts. Adventure disrupts and shakes our so-called worlds upside down. Last year I decided to quit my teaching job to write and speak. At that time I didn’t know my specific writing or speaking topics, but I knew that when I wrote I felt like I was floating and I felt like I was finally doing something on purpose. I also knew that I would have to unchain myself from the job so I could work on my own terms.It has been winding and turns and lots of uncertainty, but it is my journey.
Its has been one big adventure figuring out what I love to do. Figuring out how to pay the bills. figuring out how to explain this unexpected journey to people. Embracing adventure has opened me up to full self-acceptance.
When we say yes to adventure, we are saying yes to something that has been lodged deep down inside of us. We say yes to a kick-ass life that we are creating on our own. We say yes to the hero’s journey.
Adventure reminds me that I am not ok all of the time. It reminds me that living without regret is possible and that I can live on fire now at twenty seven all the way up until I am one hundred and seven (or older). Adventure is all about making mistakes with no regrets because those mistakes are full of life and wisdom.
Adventure is necessary to remind me to keep enjoying the life that is unfolding on my own cutting edge.
Adventure + disruption = aliveness.
Stay adventurous my friends.
Posted in Lovely People
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3 years down. An eternity to go.
Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.- Rainer Maria Rilke
3 years ago today, I stood in city hall with my husband to be. We looked in each other’s eyes, said our vows and started a new chapter in our lives together. We also did not tell anyone (for two years in fact) which made the moment feel that much more sacred. I am so happy we did this our way on our terms.
I will admit this year of marriage was a bit more rocky than the others. It was the terrible two’s as me and the husband like to joke. We had to really find what works for us as far as communication styles and what not. We have so much more to learn and it is a journey worth taking.
In honor of your 3 years, here are the 3 lessons I have learned this year from being married:
- Embrace your and your partner’s evolution: We change, mutually and individually, and that is alright. The key is riding those waves of change and staying supportive when the transitions feel a bit tough or overwhelming. Change is the only constant and that is a beautiful thing.
- Stay Grateful: Everyday me and the husband find new ways to be grateful for each other. Gratitude makes the world go round and creates a happy marriage.
- Silence is necessary: yes, sometimes just being together, no words, has set the tone for me and my hubby after long days or arguments. We meditate together and just sit in silence breathing deeply. Silence is golden. It creates an expansive space that feels wonderful.
3 years down, an eternity to go.
xo
Kandice
Posted in Inspiration + Motivation
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Just Relax.
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”
- Lao Tzu
What is going on good people? Today almost had a minor meltdown if I can be perfectly honest with you.
On Monday I gave a teleclass to announce my You Are Epic Course that is launching May 7th. After the call I realized how much I needed to do to make sure this class launches smoothly in a few weeks. I am currently doing some substitute teaching along with an internship with a theater company along with planning an out of state move.
I was in the car with my husband and starting to feel like I was going to burst into tears.
“I need a vacation,” I said as I stared out the window hoping I could float on a cloud and forget my long to do list.
“Yea you do, but you need to just relax,” he replied in the calm demeanor that I have grown to love so much.
Relax. My mind was screaming. Seriously, relax right now? I think not.
But something else inside of me, deep down, told me different. Yes you can relax. Just breathe. Life is supporting you and the world will not end if we all just breathe.
So for the rest of this year I am going to focus on relaxing and having fun because that is what feels right and I hope you will join me.I am so damn serious most of the time and something deep down inside of me wants to get on out so it is time to express it. I want to take up painting and playing the flute for starters. I am excited about what will come out of this mid-year resolution but totally not concerned with any outcome. It is time to play!
Relax. Let it go. Clear your calendar and have some fun. Shake your butt and let loose.
Let me know what you are going to do to have fun. I would love to hear about it!
xo
Kandice
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Posted in Inspiration + Motivation
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